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e.m.PD Therapy

~ … a Night Owl dealing with early morning Personality Disorder

e.m.PD Therapy

Tag Archives: therapy

The Blubock Cloud Quest

26 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by Gert in Out & About

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

clouds, imagination, mystery, nature, nature's art, skyscapes, therapy, West Texas

Giant cloud

When I looked up and saw this amazing cloud looming overhead I was mesmerized.

Like any really good photographer, I set out to find the perfect vantage that would allow me to capture the majestic splendor painted in the sky. That didn’t work out as well as I had hoped (since I’m not a really good photographer)… and I ended up driving all the way across town in my quest.

Cameras were out all over the place and I couldn’t help but feel a special bond with the faces intently peering through an assortment of lenses in our shared state of awe. A version of it was even featured on the evening news, not surprising for a town that has the luxury of repeating the same news segment several times a day. I had to giggle just a little when the weather guy at one of our local television stations said he wasn’t sure what kind of cloud it was. At least he was honest.

Me being me, I gave it a fake name and immediately started to create all kinds of scenarios to explain the presence. Scenarios that went far beyond my initial, “That’s a really cool cloud” assessment. Of course, I started with the obvious – visions of a sleek alien ship using it as a cloaking device, and moved on to considering an army of supernatural beings kicking up cloud dust as they waged a life and death battle. The “good guys” fighting to save Earth and the tiny inhabitants peering up at them through an assortment of lenses in a shared state of blissful awe, oblivious to the immense danger, while the “bad guys” were – well – being bad guys. After playing that last scenario out in my head for a bit I decided I was much happier with my initial assessment – that’s a really cool cloud.

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Living With e.m.PD

10 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by Gert in Notebook Pages

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Tags

do not disturb, personality disorder, sleep, therapy

Do Not DisturbThere is no known cure for early morning Personality Disorder (e.m.PD). Current therapeutic measures focus on treating the symptoms, and this requires a highly individualized regimen of potions and enchantments – just kidding – a little. On a slightly more serious note, the self-prescribed therapy for e.m.PD varies significantly from one person to another, depending on the degree to which the person is affected, as well as the individual’s lifestyle requirements. These requirements could include commitments to work, family, school, hobbies, or being a super-hero.

In this and several future reports, we will discuss a variety of techniques e.m.PD members rely on to get them through their “personality adjustment phase”. This is the period of time between waking and being ready to actively engage in social interactions. Current coping mechanisms, also known as therapies, include avoidance, coffee, chocolate, physical activity, and various attempts at behavior modification. Please note – this is a preliminary list, and methods of dealing with e.m.PD that are harmful to self or others are not included. As more therapies are discovered, I will add to the list. In this first installment, we will discuss Avoidance Therapy.

According to a sampling of the e.m.PD community, the treatment preferred by the largest number of respondents appears to be time alone without any forced attempts to engage in social interactions. None. Nada. Zilch. As a first line of defense, Avoidance Therapy protocols can be active or passive. Data indicates that some members have been known to lie in bed for as long as an hour after waking, pretending to be asleep, in order to avoid social interaction with their significant other. Others have been known to seek refuge in the bathroom, behind locked doors, spending as much time as they can on various morning routines and grooming activities. A few will escape to their home office under the guise of checking emails and sending overseas communications. In some extreme cases, the e.m.PD member reports being compelled to dress as quickly as possible and rush out the door for a thirty-minute run, anything to buy some alone time.

During a recent conversation, I discovered some members will actually modify their work schedules to accommodate their need for delayed social interaction. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, this is not a viable option for the masses who are required to be on the clock at a specified time, or risk losing their jobs.

CASE STUDY 218036: Stephan is a thirty-something entrepreneur who owns a professional printing company. This is his story: ‘I took a look at your site and we have so much in common. I have been running this business with my wife for ten years, and when we first started out we would open at six-thirty in the morning. But that wasn’t working and we hated it, so we moved it to seven, and now we open at ten. I don’t want to see anybody until after ten. My wife and I, we both stay up until one or two in the morning. If I’m up at six-thirty I do my work, I don’t want to have to deal with other people until later, after ten.’

End entry .\ /.

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An Introduction to e.m.PD

01 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Gert in Notebook Pages

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Tags

community, e.m.PD, group, therapy

bright sunrise This is an introduction to early morning Personality Disorder (e.m.PD) – aka the rude awakening. Please note that as of this writing, e.m.PD is not an officially recognized medical diagnosis…but perhaps it should be.

For lack of a better subject at the moment, I’ll talk about my personal experiences with e.m.PD. Although I have dealt with these feelings for as long as I can remember, it was several years ago that I finally realized my “condition” had a name. Or, at least, I gave it a name. And much like so many other discoveries and breakthroughs, the name was the result of a tongue-in-cheek quip I made to some friends.

Imagine a time just after the turn of the century – we were attending a business conference for creative entrepreneur types. It was late, and we were planning our networking strategies for the following day while winding down from a long day of unfettered making and learning. I noted that I should probably go to bed because I tend to be a bit anti-social in the morning, especially during the first hour or two after I wake up. In keeping with my usual straight-faced attempts at humor, I said something along the lines of “I have e.m.PD.” Of course they were all immediately concerned and asked, “What’s that?” In the most solemn voice I could muster, I said, “early morning Personality Disorder.” It took them a few seconds to realize that was the punch line, and then we all had a good laugh followed by a lively discussion where we discovered it wasn’t just me. I was not alone.

Since that time, I have found that whenever I describe my condition, I usually get the same nodding heads and exclamations of agreement as others recognize the symptoms in themselves or someone they know. Our numbers are great. We are a community of people living with a condition that, until now, had no voice.  This unofficial, non-scientific journal is brought to you as a result of my unofficial, non-scientific research. Hey, we have to start somewhere don’t we?

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I'm just an Owl trying to make it in this Early Bird world. I'm dealing with early morning Personality Disorder...and other issues surrounding the sleep-wake cycle. You can call me Gert, and this is my Therapy Journal. Welcome to my world.

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