Author Archives: Gert

Empty Nest

03 Thursday Apr 2014

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Empty Nest

While out shopping a few days ago I saw a young lady, probably in her mid- to late-twenties, wearing a T-Shirt that proudly proclaimed, “I STILL LIVE WITH MY PARENTS”. At least, I’m guessing she was wearing it of her own volition. I could be wrong. I could actually see some parents using that shirt to — well, never mind, that’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post is to say how much I am enjoying MY empty nest. Oh dear! Now that I actually see that written down, it sounds a little like I’m gloating, and I’m not. Really. It’s more like reveling, or maybe rejoicing. Yes, rejoicing, that’s it.

As my youngest child neared graduation from high school, and started making plans to attend college in another state, family and friends would point out, in rather ominous voices, “Uh-oh. You’re about to have an empty nest.” Is it wrong that I didn’t see a down-side to that? The angst of dreary days spent bemoaning the fast approaching “empty nest syndrome” just never happened for me.

Instead, I took every opportunity to count my blessings and look forward to this transition. It was time.

It was time for me to celebrate the fruits of my labor. It was time for my little nuts to stop clinging to my branches and find their own little patch of ground in which to take root. It was time for my little birdies to spread their wings and soar! OK, that’s a little bit of metaphoric over-kill, but you get my drift.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my children to no end, and we are quite close. Aside from letting them move back in, there isn’t much that I wouldn’t do for them. In fact, when they were younger, I was the typical, in my son’s words, “over-protective dictator”. Looking back, I guess I can see how he would misinterpret my zealous attempts at parenting vigilance. Kids. They just don’t understand – until much later when they have their own.

Linda Walter, LCSW, has an interesting article posted over on Psychology Today called “Empty Nest Without Feeling Empty”. In it, she addresses Empty Nest Syndrome, and shares a few helpful tips on ways to deal with the condition. Check it out if you think you may be at risk, or if you’re just curious.

I was happy to find that several of the tactics I employed in my particular situation fit nicely with her suggestions, like the one on planning ahead. From the time they were in middle school, my children were told (with much love), “Go to school, or go to work – either way, you have to go.” I didn’t want them to be surprised when I gave them luggage for graduation.

So far, the results have been positive, and my birdies are successfully learning to be independent and self-sufficient. To top it all off — I have a pretty cool nest where I am free to spread my own wings. Win-win.

Fine Cars and a Change in Attitude

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

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BMW logo and front end

It was an epiphany. It’s the only way I can explain it – the day that I realized the huge PROBLEM that was causing me so much worry and stress wasn’t a problem at all, it was an OPPORTUNITY that I had dressed with the wrong attitude.

Today, it feels like a page turned and the illustration showed me that what I had deemed to be an intrusion, something that was getting in the way of my life’s plan, is actually an opportunity to not only learn something new, but also an opportunity to help others in the process.

You’re probably wondering where the fine cars come into play. Well, it occurred to me that from the first day this opportunity presented itself, I revved up and started rolling around it like a B.M.W… Bitchin’. Moanin’. Whinin’… and I needed to stop.

It was a short drive to part two of the epiphany: attitude is contagious. When I felt all grumpy and sour about my situation, my situation was grumpy and sour. When I changed, the situation – and the people involved – seemed to change, and things got easier. Life got easier, and I am once again cruising along in the happy lane.

I’ll be the first to admit that this all sounds just a little cliché. OK, a lot cliché. But, I am here to tell you, this is real people! I made a conscious decision to change my attitude, and now, as I look back on the earlier stages of this opportunity, I realize that the only thing that really underwent any significant change was me… and my attitude.

As for that fine car in the photo, the owner tells me it’s awesome – just like the change in my attitude.

I Am HERE

08 Saturday Mar 2014

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colorful swirl of chaos

Have you ever been in that place where you feel compelled to add something to your current routine or way of life, and then that “something” starts to take over? That’s what happened to me.

My landlord and utility company were the impetus for this momentous decision. In spite of my kicking and screaming, they pushed me to seek a more stable source of income. They said, “Writing is fine, but you need to pay your bills. Someday, you will make a decent living with your writing,” (LOL! That was me, but they would have said it if they had known how much I want it), “but, meanwhile, you need to do something else.” So, I did.

Truth be told, I’m just not into the whole ‘starving artist’ gig. Been there, done that, got the skinny jeans rolled up in the back of my closet to prove it. Over the years I have moved on, and I have grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle – heat in the winter, food in the pantry – you know – the basics.

I never planned to return to the practice of hands-on patient care, my plans were quite the opposite. But, I feel as though I am supposed to be here at this point in time, with this patient, – no matter how reluctantly I arrived. And, she keeps me pretty busy.

For the past several months I have struggled with how to adjust my time, and my energy, mostly my energy, to fit this “something” into the life and schedule I had worked so long to develop. The one that included spending time with my family, regular workouts, and devoting hours and hours to writing stories and making stuff. The fun things that I really enjoyed and didn’t want to give up. It was tough. Being responsible for the care and welfare of another living being is a really big deal, and one I don’t dare approach half-heartedly. It has taken time, and determination, to find a working balance so that I can get back to the other “somethings” I love. Actually, I’m still working on the balance, and on figuring out how to unravel the chaos that is my life at the moment. But, I am HERE.

NaNow What?

01 Wednesday Jan 2014

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2013-Winner-Facebook-CoverThis post is long overdue. It’s the update on my NanoWriMo experiment. To be honest, this is actually the third iteration of my report on that experience. The first two seemed to be a tad too giddy and boastful, considering it was just an extremely wordy first draft. You know my favorite term here – SFD. Very SFD.

Editorial critique aside, I met my initial goal of passing the 50,000 word minimum for NaNoWriMo on the 24th of November, and yes, I did a little happy dance before returning to my keyboard to take a peek at the Winner Screen – that special area of Nanotopia that can only be viewed through 50K or higher lenses. It was a great moment… until I remembered my story wasn’t finished. I downloaded my official certificate and a few of the brag banners, and then I got back to writing. By the time it was all over, I had added a few thousand more words, but I didn’t bother posting my final total. That was strange for me. I had been almost fanatical about posting my totals at the end of my writing day, but suddenly, the number didn’t matter anymore. I felt a little like I had gone from the adrenaline high of Write! Now! to the sedate confusion of Now what? That’s where I stayed for several weeks.

I started this journey with two goals in mind: to write a 50,000 word first draft for a novel in thirty days or less; and to gather the fibers of that particular story from the recesses of my mind and weave them into a beautiful tapestry.

Goal number one was conquered with resounding success. Goal number two – well, let’s just say my story looks a lot more like a rag rug than a beautiful tapestry at the moment. For a while, I didn’t quite know what to do with that. But now, the more I look at it and contemplate its future, I’m beginning to think this particular piece may be better suited for a framed collection – as in a collection of short stories with a common thread. This particular realization has given me a new focus and I think I can finally move forward with my masterpiece.

So, as 2013 comes to a close, I am looking forward to new adventures and a new direction. I am looking forward to finishing what I have started, and who knows, maybe I’ll end up with a tapestry after all.

Wishing you all a Blessed New Year!

Santa is a Night Owl – With e.m.PD

25 Wednesday Dec 2013

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emPD SantaFor the past several weeks people everywhere have been hustling and bustling, holiday shopping lists and party invitations clenched tightly in their fists. Bell ringers were strategically posted by choice retail doors to remind us of the spirit of this giving season. Grown men and women were not the least bit embarrassed to be seen in public wearing pointy hats and ugly Christmas sweaters. Just this past week alone, traffic within two miles of any mall has been bumper to bumper all day long. Ah yes, the activities of holiday celebrations are in full swing.

I have to admit to being the teeniest bit annoyed with the intrusiveness of it all, when in the midst of my Scroogitude I had an epiphany – Santa is a Night Owl with e.m.PD! That realization changed me, and I transformed from a scrooge to a sleuth. On Christmas Eve I decided it was time to prove my hypothesis, so I made plans to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, hoping to get an interview with the jolly old owl when he stopped by my place to deliver gifts.

While I waited, I monitored his travel progress on NORAD, and baked chocolate chip cookies. Given the right set of circumstances, I am not above resorting to bribery.

I also took the time to review pages and pages of data related to this Santa Owl, I could hardly wait to officially welcome him as a fellow member of the e.m.PD community.

Well, I’m not as young as I used to be, and the last few days have been exhausting, what with the hustling and bustling and all. When I awakened from my slumber, daylight was streaming through the blinds. Humbug!

A quick scan of my surroundings revealed that nothing was out of place, and nothing had been added to the landscape – not one single present. But, by that same token, I didn’t see any coal or coal residue.

I made my way to the kitchen, noting that several cookies were missing from the tray, and there was an empty milk glass on the counter. Then I remembered how much I enjoy a glass of cold milk with chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven… I guess that explains the carb coma.

So, long story about to get longer, I don’t have confirmation from the primary source, but I am sure Santa is a Night Owl with e.m.PD.

Wait a minute now, before you completely discount my assertion let’s take a look at the following data I have collected on Santa:

    Willing to live in isolation to avoid early morning interactions: Perhaps a bit extreme, but let’s face it, there’s no such thing as someone just being in the neighborhood and dropping by for a visit when you live at the North Pole.
    Prefers to work alone, late at night: Delivering gifts around the world is a solitary task, but I think it is a choice rather than a necessity.
    When required to work with others, prefers like-minded individuals: No one seems to know for sure, but the assistants, aka Elves, are believed to be indigenous to the area and are most likely night owls as well.
    Tries to avoid interacting with others: According to the available data, he waits until his target is sleeping before he makes his appearance to complete his delivery tasks.
    People who attempt to engage during his “me” time generally find themselves on the naughty list: I may be on that list now, but a sleuth has to at least try.
    Prefers staying up all night to get his work done over getting an early start in the morning: And we’re talking a six-month night here. It starts getting dark in late September and he doesn’t see daylight again until late in March. I find it interesting that the peak of darkness at the North Pole occurs during Christmas week. Very interesting indeed.

So there it is. You decide. I hope you have a Blessed Holiday Season… and I did get some pretty cool gifts by the way, they were delivered to my daughter’s house. Guess he has a sense of humor as well.

End entry .\ /.