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emPD SantaFor the past several weeks people everywhere have been hustling and bustling, holiday shopping lists and party invitations clenched tightly in their fists. Bell ringers were strategically posted by choice retail doors to remind us of the spirit of this giving season. Grown men and women were not the least bit embarrassed to be seen in public wearing pointy hats and ugly Christmas sweaters. Just this past week alone, traffic within two miles of any mall has been bumper to bumper all day long. Ah yes, the activities of holiday celebrations are in full swing.

I have to admit to being the teeniest bit annoyed with the intrusiveness of it all, when in the midst of my Scroogitude I had an epiphany – Santa is a Night Owl with e.m.PD! That realization changed me, and I transformed from a scrooge to a sleuth. On Christmas Eve I decided it was time to prove my hypothesis, so I made plans to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, hoping to get an interview with the jolly old owl when he stopped by my place to deliver gifts.

While I waited, I monitored his travel progress on NORAD, and baked chocolate chip cookies. Given the right set of circumstances, I am not above resorting to bribery.

I also took the time to review pages and pages of data related to this Santa Owl, I could hardly wait to officially welcome him as a fellow member of the e.m.PD community.

Well, I’m not as young as I used to be, and the last few days have been exhausting, what with the hustling and bustling and all. When I awakened from my slumber, daylight was streaming through the blinds. Humbug!

A quick scan of my surroundings revealed that nothing was out of place, and nothing had been added to the landscape – not one single present. But, by that same token, I didn’t see any coal or coal residue.

I made my way to the kitchen, noting that several cookies were missing from the tray, and there was an empty milk glass on the counter. Then I remembered how much I enjoy a glass of cold milk with chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven… I guess that explains the carb coma.

So, long story about to get longer, I don’t have confirmation from the primary source, but I am sure Santa is a Night Owl with e.m.PD.

Wait a minute now, before you completely discount my assertion let’s take a look at the following data I have collected on Santa:

    Willing to live in isolation to avoid early morning interactions: Perhaps a bit extreme, but let’s face it, there’s no such thing as someone just being in the neighborhood and dropping by for a visit when you live at the North Pole.
    Prefers to work alone, late at night: Delivering gifts around the world is a solitary task, but I think it is a choice rather than a necessity.
    When required to work with others, prefers like-minded individuals: No one seems to know for sure, but the assistants, aka Elves, are believed to be indigenous to the area and are most likely night owls as well.
    Tries to avoid interacting with others: According to the available data, he waits until his target is sleeping before he makes his appearance to complete his delivery tasks.
    People who attempt to engage during his “me” time generally find themselves on the naughty list: I may be on that list now, but a sleuth has to at least try.
    Prefers staying up all night to get his work done over getting an early start in the morning: And we’re talking a six-month night here. It starts getting dark in late September and he doesn’t see daylight again until late in March. I find it interesting that the peak of darkness at the North Pole occurs during Christmas week. Very interesting indeed.

So there it is. You decide. I hope you have a Blessed Holiday Season… and I did get some pretty cool gifts by the way, they were delivered to my daughter’s house. Guess he has a sense of humor as well.

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